Oh, my... I seem to have broken about a million vows about how I was going to keep this blog. Oh well. I've been going through a series of mini-crisises and "battling" depression (hate that phrase, but whatever), none of which I really would like to talk about, so writing has really been pushed to the back of my mind. I don't really have it in me to write biting, sarcastic crap about Johnathon's vagina, nor am I ready to write about what's bothering me, soo....

I tried freewriting the other day, and I came out with a pretty good poem. So I think I'm going to try that again today. See what happens.

Ooo! I actually produced two poems! Be sure to tell me what you think.

to the sky!

to the sky! to the sky!

but my aloneness is a
thimble threading
the dark like a skylark
underwater, beating its
wings, sodden and heavy.

i’m sinking. my flight
is a paper machine
dipping in the air
like the fluttering of a final
breath.

your eyes

let me just drift
so i can live
without urgency,
for once. to have my eyes linger
on the sky. to breath in
slowly.
counting each feather,
counting each feather on my wings.

i wish i could stand
the empty

spaces.

let things just be.
let me just drift.

my eyes are pale
hummingbirds, they never sit
still. they are beating,
always beating against the palm
of the sky. swimming
out to the stars, against
the current of the cosmos.

i cannot
bear this river as it bears
me out to the sea.
all i can do is drink
it until it belongs
to me; makes sense to me.

so i cough and sputter
all these hasty words, saying
things i don’t mean; trying
to wear a stranger’s clothes
until i discover the clothes are
mine, and the stranger is me,
and i never really
knew. until i saw

you;
until i looked into
your eyes and

paused.
breathed.
measured

each second
by the beat of your heart;
measured out all
the dark, lonely spaces between
the spidery stars and
saw, saw
that i could fill them with

your eyes.

----------------------

Yours in Eternally Smoldering Evil,
Mei of Mei